farewell my beloved kikyou
by decarine
Summary: A oneshot on Kikyou's feelings about the past.


"Inuyasha…"

His name slips from her lips like water; it is smooth and natural and it happens all the time. She brushes a stray tendril of her silky ebony hair from her face and flutters her eyelashes towards the ground. The days are long now; she feels they were cruel to her for every second she existed on this earth, the memory of her only love haunts her. She always mutters his name nonchalantly, like a habit she can't stop. It was cruel. So cruel.

It was morning now and several beams of sunlight melted into the little cottage where she took shelter. Warm yellow sunlight slipped into the cracks of the walls and falls upon her pale pretty face.

Her body trembles slightly and she leans against her futon. The souls of the dead keep her awake at night occasionally but she tries to relax. They too are in pain, just like her and she pities them.

"Lady Kikyou!" A stray voice from the outside calls to her. Kikyou gets up and grabs her bow and arrow, and slides the door open.

"What's the matter?" She asks in her usual tone of voice, full of elegance and demure. One of the wounded soldiers from the war stands in front of her door and he breathes heavily.

"Priestess… please help us, everyone is dying all of a sudden…" he pants.

She goes back to work; healing, helping, whatever she could do to ease other people's pains. The same duty she was chained to fifty years ago. And now she had traveled back to her home village again. There was the same village where she and Kaede used to live, the same forests and meadows where she and Inuyasha used to meet. The same Sacred Tree that she bound him to for fifty years. As she is walking, Kikyou feels the pains of sorrow and regret that pull at her from every angle in this nostalgic place. She has to leave as soon as possible.

The wind sways the trees and the sun still shines. "Life still goes on with or without me." She thinks," And Inuyasha has forgotten me. Why should I still exist here?" She wraps bandages around the wounded men as they smile and thank her wholeheartedly. She smiles back, a small smile, and gets up after a long day of work. The sun is sinking into the horizon and leaves a nostalgic orange glow.

"_Kikyou… I promise I'll become human for you."_

Her hand moves to her lips unconsciously and she suddenly feels weak.

"_Kikyou… you know I truly…"_

Her heart is shaking and the souls of the dead that keep her alive seep out without her noticing. She feels weak and stumbles along the tall grass. The orange lights dance in her memory. There is a memory of a boat, a memory of a snowy village, and a memory of a familiar meadow that she can't relive anymore. Hot tears sting her eyes, but she blinks them back.

"_Inuyasha… what do I look like to you? Do I look human?"_

Kikyou stops walking and looks up, she stops at the Sacred Tree and runs her slender fingers across the wound of the tree that she created.

"_Inuyasha… I want to become an ordinary woman."_

She turns her back against the tree and sits down, letting her tears fall for the first time. She weeps uncontrollably in her hands, wishing to stop because she knows that she is stronger than this, that she is stronger than tears.

"Kikyou…?"

Kikyou stiffens with a jolt, this all too familiar voice startles her and she is frozen.

"Is that you?"

She looks up slowly and flutters her pretty eyelashes upon the blurred figure in front of her. The sight slowly becomes clear but she knows that unmistakable voice anywhere; the long white hair, puppy ears, half-demon that has been haunting her this entire time. He looks at her, his eyes are full of passion. A wistful melody plays around them and she looks at him, wondering if her eyes are deceiving her. "Is this a memory…?" She asks herself. Her hands extend to his face. Inuyasha seems shocked but doesn't pull away. She feels his face beneath her fingers. He is real.

She pulls her hands back and looks away," Your memory has been torturing me this entire time."

He looks at her, his face is twisted in sorrow and embraces her.

"_I love you."_


End file.
